may 5, one year later.

we made it.
there were times when i didn't know what i had gotten myself into, again. there were times i wanted to squeeze and hold you so tight, but you squirmed out of my arms. you are my maybe baby.
i cannot believe it has already been a year since you came into our lives. it has definitely been a whirlwind and sometimes i feel like i'm just along for the ride instead of the captain of this ship. you have brought so much to our (what used to be) family of three. we are now even-steven, due to you.
your gurgles, smiles and laughter are the joy i didn't know I would have. i prayed and prayed for you, almost threw in the towel and then you were there. growing inside me. the doctor didn't think you were there, but i knew (because your mama is crazy) and sure enough...39 weeks later, you were born.
you have fit so seamlessly into our life that sometimes i forget you're around...because you're doing your own thing, playing with your sister or wreaking havoc quietly like a ninja. i am so in love with you even when you scream and glare at me for not getting your food fast enough or when you hold onto my leg because you're not ready to walk yet. i love you.
i believe your sister said it perfectly when she said (on the day you were born) "this is our first baby". your sister rory wasn't a baby anymore when you were born, so yes, you were our first baby. i take joy in you, my sweet boy. you are exactly what i wanted to give to our family and myself, without even knowing i wanted exactly you. our Lord answers prayers in His own way and i am forever grateful.

feliz cumpleaños, hugh!